You cannot imagine how exceedingly happy I am that I have only two arms. Why, you ask? Well, the time has come to profile one of my weirder health issues or, as I prefer to think about it, a medical adventure.
On May 24, 2010, my left hand went to sleep and would not wake up. The mere fact that it went numb was not in and of itself a strange occurrence in my life, but that fact that the numbness did not wear off within a few hours or days was a bit unsettling. Numbness in my fingers and toes is actually pretty common. As a child, if I held onto the monkey bars for too long or grasped my Crayola too tightly while coloring, my fingers would temporarily lose feeling. In high school, my toes were always numb for at least a week after wearing heels to a dance. Thankfully the high heel issue resolved itself over time. The hand issue not so much.
After giving my southpaw what I felt was the requisite amount of time to regain feeling, I grew concerned when it actually worsened instead of improving. I’m a leftie and this was becoming a debilitating problem for me. My fingers were drawing in and I couldn’t grip anything. So off to the doctor I went. He hooked me up to a machine to test the velocity at which my nerves sent messages to my fingers and the news was not good. He also jabbed needles into my muscles in my arm (ouch!) to see whether they were beginning to waste from the lack of communication with my nervous system. That news was even worse.
Somehow, some way, I pinched my ulnar nerve (a.k.a. “my not-so-funny bone”) at my wrist and elbow and I also had carpal tunnel. This issue is apparently very common with truck drivers who rest their elbows on the door for long periods of time while cruising down the highway. Since I’ve never driven a semi, I have to assume that we lawyers put too much pressure on our elbows while resting our chins on our hands pondering deeply pressing legal matters (yeah, that’s the ticket).
The compression on the nerves was causing some of the muscles in my hand to waste, and this was extremely problematic. While you can rebuild muscles in other parts of your body, you’ll note that people aren’t at the gym pumping iron to strengthen their hand muscles. Rumor has it muscles in the hand don’t regain strength easily. You have to stop the wasting or else you could lose use of your hand altogether.
Okay, so the doctor identified the problem. What was the solution? To decompress the nerves, I required two surgeries. The first one was on my wrist to release the carpal tunnel and something called Guyon’s Canal (I like to travel, but this is one canal about which I wish I had never heard). After having my arm in a cast up to my elbow for three weeks, I had to go back for the second surgery on my elbow. The original cast was replaced with one up to my armpit for another two to three weeks. I can think of a million other things I would like to be wearing in Texas in July other than a full cast on my arm, but I digress.
The surgery on my elbow is called “ulnar nerve transposition.” In a nutshell, the doctor took my not-so-funny bone nerve from its current location and relocated it to the other side of my arm. That description is enough for me.
The recovery was unpleasant and there was a period during which I couldn’t even write my name. And you can only imagine the team effort it took to get me dressed in the morning!
At this time, I ask you to take a moment and reflect on all of the things for which two hands is extremely helpful. Examples include, but are not limited to, fastening your bra, putting your hair in a ponytail, cutting your food,, and opening a bottle/jar. The list goes on and on and on.
Thankfully, both surgeries were a success. After physical therapy and the passage of time, I regained use and feeling in my left hand.
Flash forward almost exactly one year…my right arm decided it was sick and tired of my left arm getting all of the attention, so it went to sleep. After some recent nerve testing to confirm my suspicions, I am deeply disappointed to report that history is repeating itself. A more mature friend of mine who suffers from the same issue told me that his was from old age and mine was from fast living. If that’s the case, then I better slow down and let some people pass me!
So, most of this summer I will once again be spent propped up in my bed with ice bags and painkillers. ..and that could lead to some interesting blog posts. I hope you’ll stay tuned!
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