It’s 10:00 o’clock, do you know where your kids are?

Ever so often my older sister and I let the statute of limitations run on something bad we did as kids and fess up to our parents just for the guilty pleasure of seeing the shocked looks on their faces.   We started doing this every now and again once we realized we’d reached an age at which they could no longer ground us.  And, while we still haven’t divulged all of the crazy things we did when we were younger, there is one particular story we shared with my mom and dad that caused their jaws to drop.  It went a little something like this:

When my sister was around 20 and I was about 13, my parents let us take my mother’s car on a pretty long road trip to visit some of our friends in the town where we used to live.  So there we were cruising along in my mother’s Cadillac laughing and listening to loud music, and, although I don’t remember exactly how it happened, I talked my sister into letting me drive for a bit.  She pulled over, we switched seats quickly, and I had us back on the highway in no time flat. 

I was thrilled.  See, from almost as far back as I can remember, I’ve loved to drive.  While I could care less how a car operates, I love to drive them.  My grandfather would take me out on country roads when I was really young (try 8) and turn the wheel over to me.  I know, what was he thinking???  At any rate, I’ve been comfortable behind the steering wheel for far longer than I’ve had a driver’s license.

While she was relaxing in the passenger seat, I was enjoying myself tremendously.  I was in charge!  I was driving!  I was on the highway!  As we cruised along at 60 mph, I guess my sister suddenly realized the error of her ways and she told me to exit IMMEDIATELY.  Problem.  I knew how to drive a car and how to stop, but I didn’t have the first clue about how to get off the freeway.  Before that day, that fastest I had ever driven was probably 40 mph and it was on a straight country road with no other cars in sight.  Everything gets kind of blurry from that point, but I basically recall the two of us screaming at each other and me taking an exit ramp at full speed.

Do you remember the Dukes of Hazzard?  Well picture my mother’s landyacht flying through the air as I steered it at full speed into an empty parking lot just off the exit.  We flew into the parking lot, hit a humongous pothole, went airborne and eventually came to a stop.  And I’m pretty sure we weren’t wearing seatbelts, because who wore seatbelts in the 80s?  Back then, we had a devil-may-care attitude that seatbelts would just wrinkle our clothing.

Once we gathered our senses and our blood pressure came back within normal range, we made a pact then and there that Mom and Dad would NEVER know about this.  We were fine, the car was fine, and there was no sense upsetting them…well at least not for another 15-20 years.

So, for all those parents out there, just wait.  Sit tight with the realization that, someday when you least expect it, your kids will let the statute of limitations run out on something they did and they’ll tell you a little story about their childhood hijinks that will make your hair curl!