More Isolated Oat Product, Please

I have a confession to make:  I love Taco Bell.  Since I consider myself to be a foodie, this is a difficult and embarrassing admission.  Bean burritos sustained me through my college days and I’ve refused to give them up in favor of something more wholesome.    So, imagine my dismay when the news broke this week about the lawsuit alleging that Taco Bell beef is only 36% beef and the other 64% consists of isolated oat product, water, etc.  Ewww!  This was a sad day for a girl who could eat bean burritos until the cows come home (and, apparently as a Taco Bell cow, you have a 64% chance of not being used as taco meat – at least that’s very good news for the cows).

This got me thinking about other fast food places…what is in the Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwich that causes everyone I know to covet it?  Have you ever met someone who doesn’t love Chick-Fil-A?  No!  If they don’t love it, that probably means they’ve never had it.  They have such a loyal following that I have friends campaigning on Facebook to get a store to open in their area.  In fact, several years ago, a group of my girlfriends and I were at a mall about to eat lunch in one of the nicer sit-down restaurants when one of my friends announced she had never eaten Chick-Fil-A.  The rest of us gasped in horror and we immediately left the restaurant and headed to the food court to remedy the situation (said friend is the one who joined the Facebook campaign).

Recently, I had another friend email me a link to the free spicy chicken biscuit coupon so I could print it out for her.  It seems her printer was broken and the idea of missing her free chicken biscuit was just too much to bear, so she begged me to help her get her fix.

I even attended a friend’s engagement party not too long ago and the tables were decked out with the most delicious and beautifully prepared food you’ve ever seen.  At the end of the table of this gorgeous display of culinary delights was a platter of Chick-Fil-A chicken nuggets for the children at the party.  As the night wore on, I guarantee you I did not see one adult plate without at least a couple of nuggets on it.

It doesn’t seem to matter whether you’re 5 or 55 – everyone I know enjoys Chick-Fil-A now and again.  Yet it’s such a conundrum as to why it’s so beloved.  I mean where else would you go to get a sandwich that consists of a bun, chicken patty, and two pickle slices and not expect more for your money?  If you want anything else on your sandwich, you have to pay for it.  Who pays for a piece of iceberg lettuce and a slice of tomato?  No one! 

My theory, while not scientifically proven, is that Chick-Fil-A chicken contains chicken, breading, peanut oil, and a small percentage of mind-altering drugs.  The drugs make us forget that we’re overpaying for a chicken sandwich.  Keep it up, Chick-Fil-A.  Whatever you’re doing is working.  If you ever get sued, I am sure your legion of followers will happily contribute to your legal defense fund.